Reservations
by Quezacolt
Summary: The thoughts of a clone...


**Reservations**

**Song by Johnny Rzeznik, I'm still here.**

Jonathan O'Neill scowled at the question placed In front of him.

A,B or C was all he needed, but it seemed like an impossible question, how could he chose?

He slowly re-read the question.

Your at a party...

A: You drink yourself stupid

B: You hang out with the wrong people

C: You shyly escape the party and run home

All of his friends were choosing A, but John new better. He had already been a teenager. He didn't want to be one again, but here he was AGAIN, living his worst nightmare. He grudgingly chose A and watched his friends coo over his choice. He felt the usual pang of absence when he thought of his counterpart, Jack O'Neill, happily working in the SGC.

Escaping the school quickly, he rushed to the place he new so well.

The cemetery.

_I am a question to the world,  
not an answer to be heard.  
All a moment that's held in your arms.  
And what do you think you'd ever say?  
I don't listen anyway?  
You ignore me,  
and I'll never be what you want me to be._

He watched the people mourn over their lost ones, and he felt his heart rip. He was mourning for himself. He was a clone, what is he had no soul? What is he was just a carbon copy?

Everyone, including his adoptive parents expect him to join the Air Force when he finishes school. But he doesn't want to go through it all again. He wants to be back in the SGC, laughing with SG-1, and making stupid jokes in company of his closest friends. Not questioning his very existence in a cemetery.

What did he want to do?

What could he do?

_And what do you think you'd understand?  
I'm a boy, not a man.  
You can take me and throw me away.  
And how can you learn what's never shown?  
Yeah, you stand here all alone.  
They don't know me 'cause I'm not here._  
  
_And I want a moment to be real,  
Wanna touch things I don't feel,  
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.  
And how can the world want me to change,  
They're the ones that stay the same.  
The don't know me,  
'Cause I'm not here._

How could Jack forget about him so easily? John is a part Jack, even if Jack never wanted to admit it.

Sighing, he sat in front of the grave he knew so well, the one of Charlie, placing down the only think he could afford, a small plastic wind wheel.

"What are you doing here?" A voice asked from behind him. Turning where he sat, John stared into the eyes of Jack O'Neill, a suspicious glare planted on his face. John sighed and stood up, picking up his bag.

"Visiting my son." John said, feeling remorse. He turned and began to walk away.

"Wait."

_And you see the things they never see  
All you wanted, I could be  
Now you know me, and I'm not afraid  
And I wanna tell you who I am  
Can you help me be a man?  
They can break me  
As long as I know who I am  
  
And I want a moment to be real,  
Wanna touch things I don't feel,_

_Wanna hold on and feel I belong._

Turning back around, John stared at Jack.

"It's nice to see you." Jack said sadly, sitting at the foot of the grave himself. John looked down at his feet, unsure what to do, finally deciding to sit beside him.

"Same here, I guess."

They stared at the grave for a while.

"I'm sorry for leaving you behind." Jack stated, tapping the wind wheel lightly.

John didn't answer.

"I think about you a lot." He said at last.

Jack nodded.

_And how can the world want me to change,  
They're the ones that stay the same.  
They can't see me,  
But I'm still here.  
  
They can't tell me who to be,  
Cause I'm not what they see.  
And the world is still sleepin?,  
While I keep on dreamin? for me.  
And they'll want to just whispers,  
And lies that I'll never believe._

The sun began to set beneath the clouds.

"It was nice seeing you here, John."

Surprised at the serious tone in his voice, John nodded, standing up.

"My parents will be waiting for me."

Jack's voice cut in.

"I can get you a place in the SGC again, since I heard your turning eighteen."

John shook his head.

_And I want a moment to be real,  
Wanna touch things I don't feel,  
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.  
And how can the world want me to change,  
They're the ones that stay the same.  
I'm the one now,  
Cause I'm still here.  
  
_"No." He said slowly. "I want to be a teacher."

And he turned and walked from the cemetery, leaving Jack O'Neill and all of his former dreams behind.

_I'm the one,_

_Cause I'm still here.  
  
I'm still here.  
  
I'm still here.  
  
I'm still here._

_THE END  
_


End file.
